Limericks

I write limericks in classes and meetings when I'm bored just for fun, so they probably aren't very good.

I

While I sit in this meeting of stats

I think to myself, "What's that?"

My brain is so bored

I wish for a sword

To cut through the excess of fat.

II

As I sit in my desk behind Katherine

I watch her shoot hoops in the dustbin

Her hair is so long

I think of a song

And wish we were both out a fishin'

III

I pay no attention to Ryan

I can tell all he's doin' is lyin'

He's just seventeen

But that's kinda mean

My attention is once again dyin'

IV

There's a prettyish girl named Rachel

I wish for a rhyming with Rachel

We never yet spoke

But there's always hope

I still have no rhyming for Rachel

V

White noise elocuting from Whiting

A signal in R I'm not finding

If I knew his tricks

I'd build a matrix

And then we'd see wicked, cool fighting

VI

There is a cute girl by name Rachel

I sit nearby her when I'm able

We never yet spoke

But still I can hope

If only we'd go on a datal.

VII

Mark has a creepy, cool mustache

If it grows anymore he'll earn fast cash

He looks like Old Lou

His wife will soon sue

And so he will need to bust some ass

VIII

If this meeting wasn't so boring

Then I wouldn't spend it all snoring

Although I don't mind

The aesthetics I find

My mind is on other planes soaring.

IX
There was a composer named Ludwig
Who bought crystal meth at a Who gig
He ended up deaf
His wife is bereft
Now he's Fi'ty's lyrical big wig.

X
Whenever I come to this meeting,
The toll in my head starts beating.
My brain might implode
From the dearth that erodes
And happiness goes off afleeting.

XI.1

As I stare and I stare and I think,

I could probably use a strong drink.

She is fantastic

I'm over dramatic

I'm entranced by this lady in pink.

XI.2 - Anti-limerick

As I stare and I stare and I think,

I could probably use a strong drink.

She is fantastic

And I'm a tool.

XII

As I try hard to be more succinct,

Coherence and Hope become extinct.

Now she floats away

And keeps me at bay

My battleship lies beneath sinked.

XIII

Why is it i can't find distraction?

I'm strangled by her to inaction.

With every new thought

To her back I'm brought

There must be some fatal attraction.

XIV

So I followed you into the street

'Cos I thought that maybe we'd meet

I may not be stalking

I wish we were talking

Can I follow a couple more feet?

XV - Dirtier than intended... sorry... Thanks, House.

I said that I like your new shoes

What I meant was your legs light the fuse

It's all just a ruse

how 'bout some more clues?

Your skirt and your blouse are my muse.

XVI

There once was a girl I called Sarah

I never yet met someone fairer

But I miss so much

The feel of her touch

The ground is now getting much nearer.

Copyright © 2008 by Layne Cockcroft

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